Underlying
by EvilRegalShandyLvr21
Summary: "Well if I were to be completely honest I do know. However, last time we spoke outside of work he made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me...After all, the last conversation we had was painstakingly honest." An A/U exploration of the deep seated emotions in "Old Money" and what that means for Shandy.


A little A/U story inspired by a thread in the Shandy Shippers FB group.

As usual, I don't own these amazing characters, I am just taking them on a ride! They will be returned to the _Duffster_!

No beta, all mistakes are my own.

S/N: Thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows of Drabbtablous 2! I hope to get to work on my next prompt soon.

 _ **~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

If I were to be honest, I still can't figure out why he called me when, Bobby Harris stabbed him. Well if I were to be completely honest I do know. However, last time we spoke outside of work he made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. Although, the call was work related, I couldn't help but read between the lines. After all, the last conversation we had was painstakingly honest:

" _We need to quit while we are ahead, Sharon." He says sitting across from me._

 _Looking at him confused, I ask, "Quit, what?"_

" _Don't be like that. You know what I'm talking about." He ushers out looking towards the floor._

" _Andy, look at me, please?" I ask. He looks back up and I can read his eyes and behind them all I see is hurt. "We haven't done anything wrong." I say._

" _Yet. We haven't done anything yet, Sharon." He corrects my statement._

" _But we won't be wrong." I confess._

" _Yes, we will." He says standing up from the couch, to pace the floor. "You will regret it and then we will both be heartbroken. So, before we get that far, we need to just stop." He finishes his monologue._

 _Trying to take in his revelation, I take a moment to respond. Standing and walking towards him as he is rooted in front of the television, "Regret? Andy, I could never regret this. I would have never started this if I were going to regret it."_

" _You're married." He rasps gazing into my eyes._

" _Separated." I correct him._

" _Not divorced." He ushers out._

" _Why does it matter?" I inquire._

" _Because I'm falling in love with you and…" He confesses and turns away before saying, "I can't love a married woman. It's too hard to know that you can up and leave one day. He could come back at any moment and you can vanish and here I am by myself picking up the pieces."_

 _Taken aback by his admittance, I'm at a loss for words. Still rooted in the same position standing behind him, I touch his shoulder and he turns around to face me. "Andy…" I start but a lump appears in my throat and tears begin to well in my eyes. "It's ok. I know you are falling in love with me. That's why we need to quit before we can't." He says taking my hands into his. I shake my head, no, before confessing, "You're wrong, I'm already in love with you." He tilts my chin upwards to gaze into my eyes and asks, "Are you sure?"_

" _What do you mean, am I sure? Yes, I am. Andy, I love you." I explain._

 _He lets go of my chin and returns to the couch, and places his face in his palms before approaching the not so perfectly hidden elephant in the room, "Then why won't you file for a divorce?"_

" _It's not that simple." I breathe barely above a whisper._

" _It could be." He replies._

" _Andy, there are serious ramifications to consider." I confess walking towards the couch to take a seat next to him._

" _Excuse me?" He asks, appalled._

" _What I mean is, I can't just file for a divorce without considering how this will affect my children, my finances, and my religion." I clarify as he looks at me and I can read the deep seated betrayal in his eyes._

" _Sharon, stop using your children as excuses. They are adults now. You are smart enough to know how to protect your money from him. And for the love of God, please stop using your religion as an excuse. You didn't care about that when we started this, so don't act like you care now. I'm not particularly religious, but I know that loving another man that isn't your husband, isn't good religious practices!" He fumes._

" _Woah! This has taken a sharp left turn. Why are you so angry?" I ask trying to school my emotions because all I really want to do is scream at him._

" _Sharon, I am not angry. I am hurt. There is a big difference between the two. I never in a million years thought I would find myself falling in love with someone as hard as I have with you. Only to be stalled by a marriage. I can't live my life like this. Waiting on the other shoe to drop isn't how I want to live my life. You shouldn't want to live yours like that either." He says._

" _Andy, there is no other shoe. I love you. He doesn't matter. Why don't you understand that?" I ask reaching for his hand, but he denies me._

" _If he didn't matter, you would already be divorced. Legal separation means nothing to the other man in your life. He could walk back in at any given moment…" He starts but I interrupt, "He could but that doesn't mean that I would let him in."_

" _You can't say that for sure, Sharon. Yea, you'd like to think of yourself completely over him, b ut if you were, well, you know the rest." He ushers out._

" _Andy, what is the real issue here? Please don't say it's because I haven't filed for a divorce. Because you knew I was married when we started this and I asked you on multiple occasions if you could handle what came with that, and you assured me you could. So, please be honest with me." I question._

" _I thought I could handle it. I also thought you would see what we had and be willing to let go of your past and make a future with me." He confesses reaching for my hand and now I'm the one who refuses to have a physical connection._

" _When did you start feeling like this?" I ask._

" _The moment I realized I was falling in love with you. Sharon, I can't and I won't share you." He confesses._

 _Taken aback by his revelation, I'm speechless. I don't even realize that he has moved from the couch and heading towards the door until he calls my name, "Sharon, until you can make a decision, I'm making it for us."_

 _I walk towards him grabbing my coat and keys along the way, and ask "Are you quitting?"_

 _He opens the door and says, "That's up to you."_

 _Stopping in front of him, close enough to steal a kiss, I ask, "Seems like you've already made my decision for me."_

 _Within a spilt second he leans down and plants a kiss on my lips, that displays all the hurt he has been holding in. Breaking the kiss, he breathes, "I haven't. You make the final call, until then it's best that we don't see each other."_

 _Nodding in understanding, I walk out the door and turn to look at him, fighting back tears, and say, "Give me some time." He nods and with that he softly closes the door._

Here I am in my car driving, trying to make sense of it all. I never would have imagined I would fall in love again. I definitely didn't think it was possible to do so, while still married. Andy was never my type of guy. However, he showed me a side of him that was hidden like a rare jewel and I couldn't help but fall in love with him. He has been the most patient, I've ever seen a man be. I can't help but regret the fact that I didn't take into consideration his feelings about my marriage or lack thereof. In my mind, I'm only married on paper. However, in his, it is much deeper than that. I don't think he intended to find himself falling in love with me, but when it happened it appeared like a hurricane and swept him off his feet. To be honest, it was like a pleasant summer rain, when I realized I had indeed fallen for Andy Flynn.

We've come too far to just quit. The last few weeks have been hell. Not having him to talk to and confide in every night after work.

So, the night I saw his name appear on my caller I.D., it made me happy, until I was faced with the reality that it was work related. My heart skipped several beats when he told me the reason for his call. In route to the scene I had to will myself to act professional. It hurt like hell, to hide my fear. When I saw him sitting on the bay of the ambulance, I wanted to run to him. When he collapsed and I caught him, I felt my heart sink. I couldn't lose him, not without him knowing that I really want and need what we had. Passing the case off to Major Crimes was not only for his sake, but also for mine. I don't think I could have been impartial to the case. Having him rip into me after I informed him that I had to investigate Gloria's accusations, stung. I read between the lines. He seethed with anger and hurt, and it hurt me to see it and to know that I was the cause of it. I can't go on like this. I can't continue to pretend that everything is okay. I can't continue to allow him to hurt because of me.

So here, I am pulling into his driveway, hoping he will answer the door. He won't answer my calls or return my texts so this is the last resort.

Walking towards his front door, I feel the knots begin to form in the pit of my stomach. Knocking on the door, I feel the urge to run and hide. He opens the door, and stares at me, before ushering, "Can I help you, Captain?"

Stepping into the door frame and invading his personal space, I breathe, "I'm not quitting, Andy."

Wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his neck, careful not hit his injuries, I can feel the heaviness of the burden leaving him. "Good, because neither am I." He breathes placing a soft kiss on my hairline.

…

 _ **~~~~~~~~~~ERSL21~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

Let me know what you think. I'm looking forward to the nuggets of love. I'm not sure I want to continue this story or not. We shall see.


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